The Craziest Thing I Have Ever Bought Has Arrived

Ok dudes, I have maybe four minutes to write this post before Luke demands to be fed and then proceeds to vomit forth said feeding all over my briefly clean clothes, so buckle your seat belts because this is going to be a lightning fast haunted ass trip.

Remember how I said I can't stop shopping at 4 am? Yeah, I wasn't kidding. And at 4 am your brain isn't wired quite properly... it might gravitate towards the quirky end of the spectrum. So when I saw this, my semi wired synapses sputtered and sparked up the old paypal account pretty much immediately. Love at first bleary sight.

Yes, that is a mega giant hand painted Victorian backdrop used for photographs. Like this.

These painted backdrops were used as early as the daguerreotype era, but more commonly for tintypes or carte de visites. Oh, and did I mention that I used to make daguerreotypes and albumen prints and all sorts of other toxic and delightful antique processes? I had to have this thing. Had. To.

Then it arrived in all its crumbling, eight-foot-square glory. Holy shit -- BIG. Oh, and look at my new leprechaun green velvet chairs... they are GREEN.

Anyway, lucky for me Ben and my sweet father in law are handy men, capable of nothing less than magic. In other words, they built stretcher bars for this bad boy and then framed him up with cheapo molding from Home Depot that I spray painted gold (duh).

All along I had plans to transform the back wall of our living room from this drab, flat blahdom:

To this splendifirous rendering:

Ok, sure that may be Albert Hadley's house, but you get the idea. I bought the backdrop to be a backdrop.

But, huh. Hmmmm. Yeah, I don't know about that. PS, this is about how dark and flat that wall really is for most of the day. I photoshopped the bejeezus out of the other picture I posted previously... before I had a baby. When I had time to photoshop things and use a tripod and SHOWER.

Where was I?

I think I need to rethink my Albert Hadley plan. I don't like how much of the backdrop is being backdropified by all the stuff piled in front of it. Should I ditch the mirror? The lamps? The credenza?

All of it?

I haven't had the time or pumped up the muscles to move that credenza out of the way, but I have had time to make some mockups. Of course. Behold:

Option 1 recycles the rug I already have, tosses the credenza and adds a smaller antique oval library table. I saw one similar to this a few days ago... totally doable. I did black library sconces and muted pillows to tone down the rug.

Option 2 is a little more glamooooor. Brass and glass console (this is an actual table I could buy, thus the wonky angle), brass double sconces, same rug and pillows.

Option 3 is muted maximus. The sconces are similar to a pair I'm eyeing... new rug in this mockup.

I guess what I'm thinking is that the credenza has to go. It might fit somewhere else in this room...

Like where it used to be or behind the couch? But I use that white console as my desk, so then I would lose my desk space.

Also, thank gawd my house doesn't look like that anymore.

Phew, that's better.

Also also, whatever I do on the back wall needs to flow with the front part of the room. So I probably shouldn't go too Tudor Regency all up on it. Whatever that means.

Ok, kids. There you have it.

What should I do?

Here are jpegs of the chairs and backdrop... make your own mockups if you want to.

I'm sure you have nothing better to do -- like grocery shop and wash the sheets and sweep dust bunnies under the rug before your Thanksgiving guests arrive.

Speaking of, I need to do those things STAT.

Check y'all later.

Stop Worrying About the Election and Vote For My New Rug

Hey guys, it's been a while. So, guess what? Taking care of two kids is more than twice as hard as taking care of one. The baby never naps and Ike never slows down. Our living room is littered with more flotsam and jetsam than post Sandy NYC and the housekeeper just left a few hours ago. I am on my seventh load of laundry in three days because they baby won't stop pooping and puking every time I consume the tiniest bit of hidden dairy products. Meanwhile Ike has been staging swift and furious rebel uprisings that would make Robert E Lee blush.

It's a good thing (we think) our kids are cute.

Despite my exhaustion, I find time at 4am to buy things. It's like the consumer center of my brain is on overdrive while everything else has shut down. So here I am, back at the blog doing what I do best: Waffling. Indeciding. Not listening to myself.

I need you to help me choose a rug for the nursery. Remember this?

Cute, but I feel like it needs another layer. Here are my top picks.

Option 1:

Frenchy. Neutral. Love the black border. But is it too stuffy for un petit bebe? And does it clash with American revolutionary drummer boy? You may remember him from Ike's old nursery. But wait -- might he be French, instead? It seems the French flag sports colors suspiciously close to those of America AND they also had revolutions and stuff. Copy cats.

Option 2:

I kind of swore I'd never do another black and white graphic rug after the zebra incident. And in fact the zebra is dying a slow, painful, toddler inflicted death in Karly's nursery. But this... well, this is insane. And possibly amazing. And also possibly way overwhelming and disparate from the rest of our house. I do like the super neutral colors that would allow me to change up color schemes down the line.

Option 3:

Color commitment issues... I am having a phobic moment about choosing blue, but I like that this rug would probably hide the most dirt. Also, it's cute for a baby boy and the rough border and abrash give it a handmade feel that would add that special je ne sais quoi to all the graphic elements in the room.

And those are my choices. All wool, all 8x10s, all under $300.

So please... vote. For my rug.

And for president, I guess.

Quilting Bee

Y'alluns are too sweet. Really.

Thanks to you I am using my 30 minutes of quiet baby nap time to bust out a post. My dirty laundry is very jealous, but it's ok -- I can just turn my underwear inside out and get an extra day's wear out of them.

Don't laugh. I may not be kidding.

So it's been a long time since I wrote a post about quilts, therefore I am obviously long overdue. Because what sexier topic could there be than quilting, right? Just thinking about all that calico and rick rack make me hot and bothered...

I mean, have you seen this?

I'm a little obsessed. Like, 5am Etsy trolling obsessed. A giant art quilt may be exactly what I need for this back wall:

I love a good neutral space, but somehow this just isn't working for me. I think I need to move the mirror, chair, and brass tree somewhere else, rethink the rug situation, and get a pair of matching chairs to flank the credenza.

And then find a giant, colorful but not garish, amazing arty quilt to hang over the credenza.

Same quilt, different setting. Still awesome.

I've been looking for some affordable fancy quilts and came up with these:

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None of them are quite right, but maybe I could commission a piece for a reasonable price. Looks like a six foot wide quilt could be had for around $250, which is not bad for such a large piece.

Or I could learn to sew.

Yikes.

All I know is the perfect quilt wouldn't have a ton of white, would be relatively muted and low contrast, and would be free of ticky tacky creepy calico flowery rainbow neon bullshit. I really like the menswear type fabrics shown in the inspiration photos.

Anyone have a good source for cool modern quilts?

Oh, and should I buy those green velvet chairs? I can't decide if I should hold out for something less modern, or if I should do a custom upholstery job...

Thanks and that is all.